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Divorce mediation, a calm, rational negotiation to iron out the terms of a marriage’s end, is becoming an increasingly popular alternative to acrimonious traditional divorce litigation.

In divorce mediation, a mediator aids in negotiation between a husband and wife by assisting with communication, acting as a buffer when tempers flare and providing information and strategies to help resolve differences. The benefits of this process are lower costs, less angst and an agreement the parties want to adhere to, rather than one they’re forced to adhere to.

It’s a fact that a traditional in-court divorce complete with feuding attorneys and out-of-court drama can hit an already suffering husband and wife a knockout blow square in the pocketbook. Typical divorce costs can run anywhere from two to ten times higher than the cost of a divorce mediation.

Many lawyers charge a retainer fee of between $2,500 and $5,000 for typical divorce cases, and also bill the client for any services in addition to the time covered by the retainer. And if the case goes back to court because of subsequent litigation, that’s even more money for the attorney. By using a divorce mediator, divorcing couples can substantially reduce this cost and avoid subsequent litigation by forging an agreement both parties can live with.

Mediation sessions can include the party’s attorneys or a neutral attorney or an attorney-mediator who can inform both parties of their legal rights, but does not provide advice to either, or can be conducted without attorneys. Divorce mediators may be attorneys who have experience in divorce cases.

Divorce mediations usually play out like this:

The first meeting: The couple and the mediator will identify what needs to be discussed and decide when to discuss it. They’ll also decide what information, such as tax and property records, needs to be gathered and shared.

After the first meeting, the divorce mediator leads the couple through issues in dispute and helps resolve them, suggesting compromises and strategies to avoid conflict. The mediator may also give advice how disagreements would play out in the court system if negotiations break down and an agreement cannot be reached.

Once the couple has reached an agreement on all issues in the divorce mediation, the mediator writes up an agreement for review by the parties and, if they have them, their attorneys.

Because of the collaborative and communicative nature of divorce mediations compare couples who have mediated their divorce with couples who go through an adversarial divorce, mediating couples are more likely to be satisfied with the process and the results, likely to take less time and spend less money, and are less likely to go back to court later to fight about something.

Divorce mediation keeps you and your spouse in control. That can help in recovering from the break and moving on and enjoying your life.



By: Elijah James

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A divorce usually takes place between a husband and wife over some misunderstandings, extra marital affairs or just because they can’t tolerate each other. Sometimes, the divorce proceedings take months where there is lots of emotional and psychological pain the family has to face. And to club this all, there is the high financial costs that have to be borne for the divorce to take place. The lawyers charge high fees, and the never ending process of divorce denotes the excess need of lawyers for a longer time.

All these complications arise when the parties are unwilling to negotiate due to bitterness and anger the parties have towards each other. There does not seem to be a mutual agreement that the couple can come across wherein both of them will be satisfied with the outcome of the divorce. Sometimes the case itself is so demanding that it does not permit the couple from coming together at a common settlement. Such will be its legal proceedings.

However, if and when the parties are ready to negotiate with the legal proceedings, they don’t have to suffer a painful process in the divorce. There is a less painful and less expensive option to the court proceedings. And this alternative is called divorce mediation and is a more civil and less emotional process to reach a divorce settlement.

In divorce mediation, both the parties undergo a legal process, like all other divorce cases. However, the difference here is that there is a trained and impartial third party who offers his or her services in the form of advice and assistance so that they can help the couple reach a mutual understanding. This does not mean that the two parties forsake the services of their divorce lawyers. They still do need the help of their respective lawyers through whom they are informed of all the specific legal procedures. This way there is no chance of any misunderstanding occurring; and with this, there is a better chance of reaching a mutual agreement with the help of mediation. Divorce mediation is actually a better choice for a couple seeking divorce as the stress and the cost that is involved in legal battles are avoided by the couple.

There is also proof that couples who go through the divorce procedure with a more ‘friendly’ and civil mode of mediation are usually more satisfied with the agreements that they reach. They reach a compromise earlier because the third party clears any doubts the two parties may have to reaching a mutual agreement. Another and the greatest benefit of divorce mediation is that it minimizes the trauma the children have to endure when parents decide to go their different ways.

So it can be seen that with divorce mediation, a divorce need not be more painful than it has to be, and there is no need of it being expensive either. This is because this is a more civil, less painful and more practical mode to reach a divorce settlement.



By: Melvin Ng

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When seeking a divorce, it is very important to choose the right legal advice to fight for you. Instead of working with a lawyer, it is better to work with a trained mediator as it offers lots of help, and relief in the divorce proceedings.

If both spouses decide on a single divorce mediator, they can share the cost, which may be about $1,000 to $5,000 total. With separate lawyers, each will have to pay a retainer of $1,500 just to start the proceedings. With divorce mediation, it is you, the couple who decides on how quickly or slowly the divorce decisions are made and the terms of the divorce in the Marital Settlement Agreement. Everything here is done through an agreement unlike a divorce where the attorneys set dates and judges, which takes time.

When applying for a divorce, you may face difficulties understanding laws and the paperwork that is involved with it. However with divorce mediation, all the paperwork is done by your mediator. The trauma the children face in a divorce is less with divorce mediation as they know that the parents are working together, and will not involve them.

With a divorce mediation, your marriage ends on a happier tone, where you can face your future with a better attitude. There is no steadfast rule that you have to give up going to the court with divorce mediation. If you are not satisfied with the rulings of the mediator, you can always have an individual attorney and let the judge give the final judgment. Whatever was discussed in mediation will remain a secret, and the divorce proceedings start afresh.

You can avail of sufficient legal information from the divorce mediator on making fair and just decisions. Attorneys are not permitted to advise either party; only their client. However the mediator can discuss how the court may address issues relating to your case. The mediator also encourages you both to approach individual attorneys for legal advice before agreeing to the Marital Settlement Agreement.

With a divorce, there is always the possibility of anger getting out of control in the courtroom. However, with a divorce mediator, you can voice your emotions and with their help, come across a fair decision. There is no chance of your emotions controlling the decision making process. You can be sure that all information exchanged in divorce mediation is and remains confidential. You are both encouraged to see the positive sides in each other to reach an amicable agreement. This helps in retaining goodwill in matters needing future contact between the two like in parenting.

When choosing a divorce mediator, make sure that they are knowledgeable in family law and counseling, child development and meditation process. With a mediator, a team of mental health professionals and attorneys your divorce mediation runs better. Find out their experience as those with an experience of at least ten cases is the better choice. To find out the benefit of divorce mediation, listing out the pros and cons of your divorce proceedings will show you that the divorce mediation is indeed a better choice for you.



By: Melvin Ng

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